


That Kept So Many Warm

by Orithain, Rina9294



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 13:53:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5499503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orithain/pseuds/Orithain, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rina9294/pseuds/Rina9294
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel find their way toward each other with a few bumps in the road.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Kept So Many Warm

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in the Ashton Press zine _Send Me an Angel_ , still available for purchase: http://fanzines.ashtonpress.net/

Dean glared down at the angel now lying flat in the snow on Bobby’s front stoop, the wind already covering him with a light dusting of white powder. Dean stood there, arms crossed and a militant expression on his face as he blocked the doorway, ignoring Sam’s questions as to what was going on from inside the house.

Sam came up behind Dean, still talking. “Wasn’t it Bobby? What—” He stopped abruptly as he peered over Dean’s shoulder, seeing Bobby gawking at his brother from beside his truck, several bags in his hands. “Cas?” he asked uncertainly, looking at the figure slowly sitting up amidst the tumbled bags he had apparently dropped as he fell.

“What the hell are you doin’?” Bobby demanded, hurrying up to them and setting his bags on the ground as he helped Castiel to his feet.

“Hello, Sam.” Castiel’s blue gaze flicked from Sam to Dean, whose expression was as dark as a storm cloud. “Hello, Dean.” Wetness dripped down his upper lip, and he reached up to touch it, his glove coming away stained red from the blood dripping from his nose.

“It’s been _months_ , and that’s all you have to say for yourself?” Dean demanded furiously. “I thought you were gone for good!”

“I am not.” Castiel’s answer was grave, and he frowned in confusion—at least until the pull of those muscles caused him pain. “You are angry at me?”

Bobby stepped forward at that, motioning for Dean to retrieve the bags he had set on the porch and Sam to gather up the ones that were still on the ground. “Talk about it inside; it’s too cold to be standin’ around out here.”

Dean scowled, turned and stomped back inside without another word, ignoring Castiel, who still had blood dripping from his nose.

“Uh, welcome back?” Sam said, gathering up the fallen bags and stepping aside to let Bobby and Castiel go inside.

“Thank you, Sam,” Castiel said quietly. “It is good someone feels that way.” That said, he walked into the house, hanging his jacket on the hook by the door and walking into the living room, taking a seat near the pile of books that he had been sorting through earlier in the day.

Dean stood at the window, looking out at the falling snow—or at least facing outward though his focus appeared a million miles away. He seemed oblivious to anything around him, but when he finally spoke, his words belied that. “You didn’t even say goodbye.”

“I had to leave; would the words have made it easier?”

“Yes!” Dean finally turned to face him, his green eyes dark with pain. “I waited for you to come back.”

Castiel looked away at that, watching as Bobby and Sam carried groceries into the kitchen and began to put them away. “I did come back,” he tried to explain, feeling that the words were lacking.

“And when were you going to tell me?”

A drop of blood fell from Castiel’s nose to darken the heavy cotton of his jeans, and he felt an echo of the sensation slide down his arm beneath the fabric of his shirt. “Soon.”

“Glad to know I made the list.” Dean turned to face the window again, his shoulders hunched and his body practically thrumming with tension.

“I am sorry that this hurt you, but I—”

“What? How long are you going to hang around this time before disappearing back to Heaven? Just long enough for me to get used to you being around again?”

“I cannot leave,” Castiel said hoarsely.

That had Dean swinging around to frown at him. “What do you mean?”

“He means look at him, you idjit,” Bobby growled from the kitchen before shaking his head and waving Sam back to putting the food away.

“What?” Dean looked from one to the other, clearly bewildered.

“I will not disappear back to Heaven,” Castiel said slowly. “I cannot.”

Dean finally really looked at him, seeing the changes in his appearance, and he took a step toward Castiel. “Why not?” he asked, his eyes still searching Castiel’s features.

Another drop of blood gathered at Castiel’s upper lip, and he wiped it off, wincing at the brush of his hand against his nose. “Because I chose to leave,” he said solemnly.

“And that’s a one-way trip? Cas, what have you done?” Dean took another step toward him.

“Chosen. Fallen. They are one and the same.”

Dean’s eyes widened, and his mouth opened and closed several times without anything coming out.

“In case you didn’t get that, he’s human,” Bobby muttered from the kitchen.

Dean sat down abruptly. “Wha— How? _Why_?”

Sam shook his head at that as he stuffed cans into a cabinet. “Is he serious?”

“Why would he pretend something like that? Idjit!”

“I meant Dean asking why!” Sam protested. “Cas is still bleeding, and why would he be if he was an angel?”

Bobby turned to stare at Sam. “Yer surprised that Dean’s askin’ why? He’s the least self-aware person I ever met.”

“I did not belong with the Host any longer,” Castiel said, answering Dean’s question.

“And you do belong here?”

“I am trying to decide that.”

“I— I’m glad you came back.”

“I am glad that you feel that way.” Castiel glanced toward the kitchen before taking a deep breath. “It is why I chose.”

“I’m, uh, I’m sorry about your nose.”

“It will heal.”

“You should have said goodbye,” Dean said sulkily.

“I am sorry that I did not; hopefully it will not be necessary in the future.”

Dean nodded jerkily. “I missed you.”

“I—” Castiel blinked in surprise when a wet dishcloth landed in his lap.

“Fer your nose,” Bobby called, causing him to nod and carefully raise it and dab at his swelling flesh.

“Thank you.” He looked over at Dean again before wetting his lips. “I thought of you often since I returned.”

“Why didn’t you let me know you were back?” It was a cry from the heart, and Sam and Bobby busied themselves in the kitchen, giving the other two what privacy they could.

“I wanted to; I had to learn what it meant to be human first,” Castiel said quietly.

“I could have helped you with that.”

“How long do you believe that I have been back, Dean?”

“I don’t know.”

“Less than one week.”

“Oh. Now I’m really sorry about the nose.”

Castiel looked down at the red-tinged cloth, then back at Dean. “You were angry. I am sorry for that; I did not mean to hurt you with my absence.”

“How could you think it wouldn’t?” Dean took the final steps to Castiel’s side. He took the cloth and carefully dabbed at Castiel’s face, wiping away the blood he’d missed, the other man holding himself totally still under Dean’s touch except for the shallow rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

“I knew it would, but I did not mean for it to happen,” he said quietly. “I knew it would because I hurt as well.”

Dean sighed as he allowed the cloth to fall from his hand, which curved to cup Castiel’s cheek. “Why did you leave? I thought—” He stopped abruptly, his eyes falling.

“I had to leave so that I could try to return,” Castiel tried to explain, the brush of Dean’s palm against his cheek causing a frisson of sensation to run through him. “What did you think?”

“That you would stay. And then that you were gone for good.” Dean’s thumb moved over Castiel’s skin in a feather-light caress.

“I could not stay as I was—in either place.” The words were voiced in a low, rough whisper. “I was too much an angel for the earth and had become too little of one for the heavens.”

“I’m sorry you had to Fall,” Dean murmured, his eyes searching Castiel’s. “But I’m glad you came back.”

The former angel’s smile was tentative but real, and he reached up to place his hand on the side of Dean’s face as well, the stubble there rough against his palm. “I am as well.”

“I really am sorry about punching you,” Dean said. “Humans have a weird habit of getting angry when they’re relieved.”

“I am sure it will heal,” Castiel assured him, once again sounding serious. “Once I was... settled, I was going to contact you.”

“I still wish you hadn’t waited.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m here now, and so are you.”

“And you’re not going anywhere this time.” Dean smiled, but there was still a hint of a question in his tone.

“No, I have— This is my home now.”

“I hope you don’t mean literally here, with Bobby.” Dean finally relaxed enough to tease him.

Castiel frowned slightly, glancing toward the kitchen where Bobby and Sam still were apparently putting things away by the amount of noise they were making. “No, I had not planned on it though Robert has been very kind in helping me acclimatize to this new life.”

“Yeah, he’s good at that kind of thing. He did something similar for me and Sam. But I’m happy to help you with whatever you need.”

“I’m still learning what that is.”

“I kinda hope I’m part of it.”

Dark brows furrowed over bright blue eyes at the comment. “Why do you believe that I left the Host?”

“I’m trying not to make assumptions here, Cas.”

“Then I will be plain; for you.”

“Oh. Good.”

“That mean we can come out of the kitchen now?” Bobby growled from the other room.

Dean started laughing. “Yeah, it’s safe.”

“Everyone’s dressed, right?” Sam asked.

“We are garbed,” Castiel promised.

“Trust me, when we’re not dressed, it won’t be in the living room.”

“There is no shower here,” Castiel nodded knowingly.

There was a beat of silence as everyone absorbed that, and then Dean cleared his throat while Sam backed into the kitchen again. “Right. New rule: no discussion of naked activities.”

“Works fer me,” Bobby muttered, shaking his head while Castiel frowned in confusion. “That’s one you can do the explainin’ on.”

“Thanks a lot.” Dean eyed Castiel. “I’ll explain later when we’re alone.”

“Thank you!” Sam said fervently while Castiel’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“I do not understand why showering has everyone so upset, but I will wait to have it explained.”

“It’s— You know what, never mind. We’ll talk about it tonight,” Dean promised, realizing that anything he said now would just start the discussion and possibly make Sam and Bobby’s heads explode.

Castiel nodded at that though it was clear that he didn’t quite understand why the topic couldn’t be discussed then.

Dean finally let his hand drop from Castiel’s face, though only as far as his shoulder, which Dean squeezed.

“So, got anything in this place for dinner or should we call for pizza?” he asked Bobby, looking over his shoulder at the older man, who had moved to his desk.

“Jes’ went grocery shoppin’,” Bobby commented though he was smiling as he watched the two men. “Got some steaks I can throw on. Castiel, you get a chance, you can take yer bags upstairs. Check yer arm too; that shirt weren’t bloody when we went out.”

Dean’s eyes shot to the stain on Castiel’s shirt, and he immediately herded Castiel toward the stairs. “Come on, we need to check that out. I liked it better when you healed instantly.”

“I gave that up when I returned,” Castiel explained, “but we did not get my bags; Robert and I...” He frowned faintly, wincing slightly as that jarred his nose. “We shopped until we dropped.”

Dean snickered. “I’d hate to imagine what you could do if you were a woman then.” He scooped up Castiel’s bags from where Sam had dropped them after bringing them in. “Come on, there’s been enough blood scattered around this house; Bobby doesn’t need you adding to it.”

“We will have to wash the shirt so that the blood doesn’t stain it,” Castiel nodded as they started upstairs. “I believe that it is Samuel’s.”

“Maybe when he was in high school. Don’t worry about it, Cas. He hasn’t worn that in years. But we’ll see if we can save it for you.”

“That would be good; it’s very comfortable though I did get several new ones at the Goodwill.” Castiel paused and glanced back at Dean once he got to the top of the stairs. “I believe that I am wearing your jeans.”

Dean chuckled. “That’s not quite how I imagined you getting into my pants.”

“They are very comfortable.”

“Glad to hear it. Later we’ll see how comfortable we can get you without them.”

Castiel nodded slowly at that as he started walking again. “I have been staying in this bedroom.” He pushed open the door to reveal a room that was miles neater than the rest of the house; even the bed was made with an almost military crispness.

Dean looked around, his eyebrows rising ever so slightly as he took in the state of the room. “Well, if we ever need quick cash, we can advertise you as a cleaning service.”

“Robert said much the same thing when he found me organizing his books.” As he spoke, Castiel started to carefully unbutton his shirt so that they could examine his arm.

“Is this my fault too?” Dean asked, watching him. “Did you hurt your arm when you fell?”

“Not when I Fell, it was after I arrived; I stumbled and fell into one of the cars outside. It was not your fault; you weren’t there.”

Dean opened his mouth to explain what he had meant, realized it would be a lot of effort for little result, and closed it again, simply nodding. “You probably tore it open again when you fell down on the porch. It shouldn’t be too bad.”

“It does not hurt much; my face is more painful,” Castiel assured him as he pulled his shirt off, hanging it over the back of the wooden chair that was pushed against the wall near the closet door.

“I’m sorry,” Dean said again, moving closer to Castiel to get a look at his arm. “We just need to re-bandage this. It’ll be fine.”

“I am sure it will be; it has healed much already.”

Dean looked up from Castiel’s arm, then pressed a gentle kiss to the injury. “That’s good.”

“Does the kiss help the healing? I remember seeing mothers do that to their children when they had fallen.”

“Not really, but we like to think it does. And it makes us all feel better regardless.”

“I will remember that in the future in case you are injured though I believe that a doctor would be more helpful.”

“It doesn’t happen that we need a doctor all that often. Sam and I are pretty good at patching ourselves up. Our dad made sure of that.” Dean finished bandaging Castiel’s arm and then carried the shirt out to the bathroom to wash it in cold water. “This isn’t too bad either. I should be able to get most of it out.”

Castiel followed him into the bathroom, watching from the doorway as Dean washed the shirtsleeve. “Thank you. There is still much that I have to learn here.”

“Just remember to always use cold water to get blood stains out. Otherwise you’re wasting your time.”

“When do you use hot water to wash things?”

Dean vaguely wondered when this had become a laundry lesson, but he answered gamely. “You don’t much, mostly just if you’re bleaching whites, which I don’t do often. You can use warm water for a lot of stuff, but a lot of washers now cost less if you use cold water only, so I mostly do.”

“Those are good things to know; Robert hasn’t allowed me to help with the laundry yet. I did make us sandwiches yesterday; they were peanut butter and grape jelly.” Castiel stopped and smiled in pleasure at the memory. “The grape jelly was very sweet.”

“I like those too,” Dean agreed. “Still like a good bacon cheeseburger best though. Uh, you do eat meat, right?”

“I had meatloaf for lunch while Robert and I were out shopping,” Castiel confirmed. “Did you believe that I wouldn’t?”

“I wasn’t sure, what with you being a former angel and all. I’m glad you do though; it’ll make meals a lot easier. Besides, it’s good,” Dean finished with a quick grin.

“All creatures were created for a purpose; if God did not wish for humanity to eat meat, we would not be allowed to eat meat.”

“Wish we could get all those militant vegans to understand that,” Dean muttered. “But that’s all the more for us.” He finished with the shirt and wrung it out, then tossed it over the shower rod to dry.

“Come on, let’s get you dressed again, and we can go down and see if we can help with dinner.”

“We have potatoes for baking and ice cream as well.” The words were spoken with a smile as they walked back to the bedroom Castiel had been using, and he picked up one of the bags, carefully upending it onto the bed, his smile growing as the shirts spilled out over the faded quilt.

“Which should I wear?”

“The blue one,” Dean said without any hesitation.

“That one is very soft,” Castiel agreed, reaching for the dark blue Henley and carefully pulling it over his head, sliding his arms up into the sleeves once it was settled around his neck.

“Looks good too.”

“Thank you,” Castiel said gravely. “Robert did not approve of the pink shirt.”

“Guys don’t usually wear pink, Cas. It’s kinda girly.”

“I will avoid it in the future,” Castiel promised, reaching up and gingerly touching his nose. “I would imagine that it shows blood much more easily than darker colors as well.”

Startled into a laugh, Dean had to nod. “Yeah, it does.” He came close again, peering at Castiel’s nose. “I don’t think it’s broken, at least,” he offered almost sheepishly.

“Perhaps you should kiss it as well,” Castiel offered after a long moment’s thought.

A faint smile curved Dean’s lips before they gently touched Castiel’s nose, careful not to cause him any pain. “Did it help?”

Castiel’s lips curved in response before he nodded. “Yes, I believe that it did.”

“Glad to have been of service.” Dean angled his head carefully and pressed a kiss to Castiel’s lips, causing his brow to crease in a confused frown.

“My mouth was not injured.”

“Kisses aren’t just for healing injuries, Cas. They’re for fun too.”

“So at times kissing is amusing?”

“Not so much. Enjoyable, sexy, hot, affectionate, that’s more what I meant.”

Castiel nodded at that, absorbing the words and committing them to memory, his brow furrowed with concentration. Suddenly he nodded and stepped forward in an attempt to press his lips against Dean’s—at least until their noses collided and the pain caused him to grunt in surprise at the sudden intensifying of the ache there.

Dean’s lips twitched, but he restrained the smile that wanted to break free. “You have to be careful of noses when kissing,” he said in a voice that only quivered slightly. “Like this.” He held Castiel’s chin and tilted his own head slightly to one side and kissed Castiel again, this time allowing his tongue to brush lightly over Castiel’s lips.

“Oh.” The other man’s voice was soft with wonder, and he ran his tongue over his lower lip in an unconscious imitation of Dean’s gesture. “That was very nice.”

Dean regarded Castiel, his expression more tender than most people would believe him capable of. “It’s supposed to be. I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”

“I’m very glad you did; I would like to do it again some time.”

“No time like the present.” Dean leaned in to kiss him again, and this time Castiel opened his mouth so that he could tentatively brush his tongue over Dean’s lips, sighing at the flavor of his skin. When he did, Dean opened to him, inviting Castiel to explore more, and he did so, slowly letting his tongue slide over Dean’s lower lip and into his mouth though it was plain that he wasn’t sure what to do after that. Fortunately Dean was happy to teach him, and his tongue stroked over Castiel’s and then retreated to allow him his turn.

Blue eyes opened wider at the velvety glide of Dean’s tongue against his, and he clutched the other man’s arm to pull him closer, his tongue delving into Dean’s mouth in search of more of the sensation.

The kiss continued for a little while before Dean drew back slightly with a final swipe of his tongue over Castiel’s lips. “Much as I’m enjoying this,” he panted, “if we keep going, we’re going to end up someplace I don’t think you’re ready for yet.”

A frown furrowed Castiel’s brow again before he slowly nodded. “That is probably for the best, and we do not want Robert or Samuel to come looking for us.”

A snort of laughter escaped Dean. “Trust me, Cas, wild horses couldn’t drag them up here right now.”

The frown deepened as Castiel slowly released Dean’s arm. “Why?”

“Because family really doesn’t want to see each other in anything involving sex. And that’s where we were headed.”

“Oh. There are still many things I do not know about being human, but I will learn with time.”

“Yeah, you will. And I’ll be right here with you every step of the way.”

Castiel’s smile in answer to that was warm and full. “That is what I had hoped for.”


End file.
